Baby Talk with a 9 yr old — Fail!

Recently, I was going through some of my older (pre Three Blind Wives) writing, and came across this little gem. It was a conversation I had with Max about a year before I got pregnant with Leon, my youngest. Max was 9 at the time. Since I just posted about how to talk to your kids about sex, I thought I’d go ahead and share.

We were sitting at the dinner table, and I said, “Hey Max, what would you think if I told you that Daddy and I wanted to have another baby?” (For the record, “Daddy” had no knowledge of this.)

Max said, “You mean have sex?”

. . . ?

Not the response I expected. I said, “Um, yes. . . I suppose, but that really has nothing to do with my question.”

Interrupting me, Max said, “How long does it take?”

Scared to ask, I said, “What?”


Oh boy. “Um. . . I’m not sure that has anything to do with this. . .”

He interrupted again, “‘Cause if you guys are gonna have another baby, I don’t want to wake up in middle of the night and be scared to go in your room ’cause of what you might be doing in there.”


I tried to get things back on track. “Max,” I said,”You don’t need to worry about that. Daddy and I will handle all the. . . details. I’m not sure if we are going to have another baby at all. We,” (and by we, I totally meant me) “are just thinking about the possibility right now. We’d love to have a little girl, although another boy would be great, too. So, what do you think?”

And that’s how you lead it back. Like. A. Pro.

Max said, “What do I think? You mean about the sex?”


“No! About the baby!”

“Oh,” he said. “I think it could be cool.”

And that’s all he had to say about it. Period. After all that, “it could be cool” is all I got.

For the record, our new baby is 7 weeks old as I’m writing this. It is very cool. =D

Here’s Max at 10 with his new baby brother.

Sometime after we told him I was pregnant, he said, “So you and dad have had sex 3 times.” (We have 3 kids, so by logical deduction, that is correct.) Thankfully, those kinds of comments are few and far apart. <eye roll>

Feel free to share any funny baby chats you’ve had with your kids in the comments. I’d love to hear them!

Three whole times, huh!

See, Xander wants us to have another baby so he told me to let him know when we’re going to do “you know” and he’ll make sure no one disturbs us. Unfortunately, the idea of him standing guard disturbed me more than a child knocking on the door would.


2 thoughts on “Baby Talk with a 9 yr old — Fail!

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