How to Guarantee You’ll Wake Up to Your Alarm

1. Select the most obnoxious ring on your phone. I prefer one with a slow, steady, repeating sound. Mine starts out at a low volume, and builds. It sounds like a space ship!

2. Place the phone on the bed, right next to your body. I suggest leaving it at about hip level.

3. Toss and turn all night.

When your alarm goes off, it will be muffled, so you might not hear it right away, but don’t worry, eventually your subconscious will pick up on it. When you finally do hear the alarm, start digging through the covers. You’ll probably do this lying down for a while, but eventually, you’ll have to sit up to expand your search. You’ll likely still be groggy at this point. You’ll fully intend to hit snooze when you do find the damn thing.

Notice how the sound gets louder, then muffled again as you sift through blankets and pillows. You’ll think you have it, but then you’ll realize you were just burying it deeper. You’ll think to yourself, “How is this possible?!” You may start swearing. The frustration you feel will help your mind to become fully awake, even faster than coffee. By the time you find your phone under the same blanket you’ve spent all this time searching through, you’ll be so damn awake, that there’s no way you’d even consider going back to sleep. You couldn’t if you tried.

So friends, try this method, and you’ll have no problem getting out of bed in the morning. However, if you do this daily, you may want to consider adding yoga, deep breathing, meditation, or some other de-stressing activity to your routine.

Serenity now!

It is even more annoying when it is your husband’s phone and it goes off at 5:30. He gets right up though. I hide under the covers for a while pretending the coffee will make itself.


5 thoughts on “How to Guarantee You’ll Wake Up to Your Alarm

  1. hehehe love it! I have the opposite problem, I wake up super fast – and I’ve trained my husband to, as well. Basically – live with someone who wakes up fast and WILL run over you to turn off the annoying beeping thing, and you’ll wake up fast out of sheer self defense 😀 I might suggest he takes up yoga, though. Theres a good idea. Poor Mr Husband 😀

    • Haha! I wish I woke up fast. My husband does, but only because I turn into a mean monster if his alarm goes off for more than 3 seconds. I loooooathe the sound of an alarm clock, and I hate even more to be awakened prematurely. I can forgive my children when they wake me up, but that’s where I draw the line. That’s why having my phone get tangled up in my sheets while the alarm goes off is so infuriating to me! =D


  2. How do you know my exact morning routine? 🙂 You forgot to mention the part where, at least once a week, the phone falls off the mattress (probably knocked off by a dog) and ends up halfway under the bed. Cue to the next morning when, mostly asleep, I can be found confused and crawling around the bed in what I think is the direction of the by now horribly screeching alarm. My arms are too short to reach it and I end up having to slide into the approximately 2 foot space between the floor and the mattress.

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