What Really Happened in The Garden of Eden

Disclaimer: I wrote this a while back on facebook when I was very, very sleep deprived. A friend of mine pointed out that I have my biblical facts a little mixed up. I am by far not an expert on the Bible, so I’m okay with my inaccuracies. As long as it’s for the sake of humor, right? I mean, I’m not trying to influence law with my misinterpretation. Okay, that being said… Enjoy!

At most times of any given day, you will find that I love, adore, and even worship the ground my children walk on. But then, there are those moments where . . . Well, let’s just say that I understand why children are portrayed as a curse in The Bible.

Speaking of which, I have a theory. I never did buy the whole, “Eve took a bite from the apple, shared it with Adam, then they were both banished, and cursed with fertility.” I just don’t see how we logically go from point A to point B, and especially point C.

Here’s how I think it really happened:

God created Adam and Eve in his own image. He adored them, and showered upon them everything they could ever desire. Adam and Eve pestered God constantly, questioning his every decision, and asking him, “Why this?” and “Why that?” They complained of being too tired even though they had no responsibility and could rest whenever they wanted. They seemed constantly dissatisfied, even though they had everything they could ever need. They didn’t have to shoulder the burden of the Entire Universe, yet they bickered incessantly.

God thought, “They will never know the Hell they put me through . . . ”

“Unless…”

And thus, the first human baby was conceived, and God called it perfect.

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4 thoughts on “What Really Happened in The Garden of Eden

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